Seeyasucka
Why is the universe against me having a lovely new pair of seersucker pants for spring?
Sure, there are many pairs seemingly readily available. Believe me, my annual springtime seersucker hunt has evolved my eyes into hairline stripe detecting machines. I can sense their perfectly puckered fabric within 100 yards. 
I am. A monster.
The problem is, all the pairs I keep finding either show butt cleavage, are capris (let the record show that there is nothing wrong with capris, and that while others look good in them, the combination of the capris and my legs resembles an extended tire gauge), are maternity pants, have an elastic waistband or flare out so much that they completely cover your shoes for an unflattering look reminiscent of an elephant leg.
From Dior’s new Babar line.
Or they look like this.
Shoes not included? Forget it.
Anyway, this wouldn’t be such a frustration if it didn’t happen every year. I mean, is it really too much to ask for a smart, sensible pair of pants crafted from a classic, breathable fabric that helps one endure the summer heat, and keeps one comfortable whilst playing croquet or drinking sweet tea on the porch? Why should us northerners be punished on the basis of geography? It’s borderline ungodly.
If you have any leads as to where I can get such a pair of pants, please contact us here at the Seersucker hotline, day or night.
Georgia and my lacking wardrobe thank you.
pants of another color.
is it weird that i name my clothes?
so far it’s just my pants, but i’m really starting to feel the need to name more of my wardrobe.
this is what i have so far:
+The Brown Pants of Freedom - aptly titled for the pure laugh-out-loud-dance-the-riverdance joy that i get from the full range of motion they offer. the BPOF are wide-legged (boot cut, not hey-man-can-you-spare-some-change wide) and the perfect length. i can wear any kind of shoe in my arsenal with them. oo! oo! the pockets are my favorite part! because they are men’s pants, not only am i able to fit the full length of my fingers in there, but MY ENTIRE HAND (and sometimes some forearm) can go comfortably in the pocket. THE JOY DOESN’T END THERE!! there is also another teeny tiny adorable teef gritting baby pocket inside my pocket. my pocket has a pocket. now thats considerate. seriously. (they will be 2 yrs old this month. happy birfday BPOF!!!)
next!
+ The Weirdo Pants - so dubbed by TT due to their interesting texture/not-so-savory hue combo. they fall somewhere vaguely between rust and tan. more like old-tootsie-roll-meets-bologna (i hate the spelling of that word - from now on i will say boloney. that is all). they are a pseudo thin wale cord-esque raised tootsie roll stripe with a boloney stripe in the valleys. the result is a very non-committal, and somewhat disturbing color. now despite the allure of a new texture, this isn’t a pant tint that would normally attract me. as a matter of fact, it would actively deter me. the $5 price tag made it an easy decision. these pants are new to the family, so haven’t had much opportunity for utilitarian assessment. today is their social debut, as a matter of fact. i have so far not caught any sidelong glances or heard the sound of retching as i passed. to me thats a thumbs up. i think they’ve made the (bi)weekly rotation. i will keep the world posted on the progress of TWP.
that’s the sum total of my monikered attire.
stand by for future apparel additions.
clothed in love, kittyteef
