The buddy system
Why I am not part of Mayor Richard M. Daley’s think tank I will never know.
I say this because I have the perfect solution for the impending CTA Doomsday scenario that threatens to cancel many critical bus routes and promises to demote CTA service from its current status of Ridiculous to Downright Dismal.
So, I’ll just come right out and say it. I think buddy pegs are clearly the answer to all of the city’s transportation and environmental problems.
You’ve seen ‘em. Ok, well, you’ve mostly seen kids 12 and under hitching a ride on them on the back of their friend’s BMX bike. But still… I know you’ve seen them. Those in the Xtreme biking world call them stunt pegs, but whatever you call them, they have the potential to change the face of the morning rush hour as we know it.
Dig if you will the picture of up to 3 peeps, any three peeps—business peeps, student peeps or random bike enthusiast peeps—piling onto a single bike! So beautiful!
Buddy pegs are not only a clean, economical and socially enriching mode of transport, they’re incredibly versatile, too. Have on a skirt or don’t want your trousers to get caught in the chain? Just stand on the back and enjoy the ride. Had a few too many last night and the thought of biking makes you want to hurl? Get on the front, relax, drink your coffee and let that fresh air cure what ails you. Need to burn off the holiday pudge? See how the pounds just melt off pedaling two times your body weight!
I’ve crunched the numbers, and with buddy pegs as low as $9.99 per pair, the CTA stands to save $28,495,774 per year if they would buy every person in Chicago a pair of buddy pegs. That’s certainly enough money to repair and expand the L lines and purchase some hybrid buses. However, it is too little money to keep those white, mysterious unmarked CTA cars that seem to have no other purpose than to drive recklessly. These people will be punished and forced to ride razor scooters.
Even in winter.
This is my plan.
Tootsie made me gay
So I was flipping through the channels the other day and started watching Tootsie. It was the scene where Dustin Hoffman, dressed as Dorothy, has a sleepover at Jessica Lange’s. And it hit me over the head….I didn’t turn gay when I was 16, it was when I was 11. Well, I didn’t really know back then, but I know that I was attracted to Jessica Lange in Tootsie! (I just forgot). But it wasn’t a “I wanna rip your clothes off” thing, more just like a “please hold me” thing…what did I know at age 11?
TMI in this post? Maybe. But I love you all. All 6 of you.
A new fun phrase
was coined by John, my coworker, today.
We were in a team meeting this morning when someone made a comment that sent everyone into hysterics. John was trying to no avail to get someone’s attention through the ruckus, so he did what any red blooded American who was alive in the late 80s would do. He broke into his best Fatal Attraction/Glenn Close imitation and yelled, “I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!!!” Then under his breath he added, “Don’t make me cook your rabbit.”
This comment sent us into further hysterics and pretty much destroyed any remaining order in the meeting. We decided “cooking the rabbit” is our new favorite phrase. As in, “Dude, stop humming or I’m totally cooking your rabbit” or “She gave me this project after 5. Her rabbit is so cooked.”
God, I wonder what it’s like being a genius?
Conversations with 3 year olds
My nephew James has met my two cats Hank (the orange one) and Archie (the black one). I was showing him a photo of them and asked him if he remembered their names. He pointed to the screen and said “Yes! That’s Frank, and that’s Chocolate Circle!”
I guess Archie looks like a yummy piece of candy.
My lot in life
So, people like talking to me. And by people, I mean strangers. If there’s an awkward, random and/or unsolicited conversation to be had out there, it will be struck up with me. And I’m not the initiator.
After 36 years of life, I’ve learned to accept this phenomenon, but it’s always alarming to new people in my life. I’ve always wondered what it is about me that invites strangers to approach me. Do I look nice? Do I look lonely? I don’t make excessive eye contact in hopes of quashing moments like these. But even after all this soul searching and wondering, I still thought maybe I somehow give the subliminal green light to these interactions.
Today, my coworker exonerated me of all personal responsibility for people suddenly verbally expressing themselves to me. I trust his opinion because he is a no-nonsense kind of guy. He’s very direct and is adamant about his personal space. You get on the bus with him, he will tell you, “I don’t talk on the bus,” and return to his book or headphones without a tinge of guilt. With his directness comes honesty, and on occasion has told me I am too nice or has pointed out other personality quirks, so I know he means what he says.
So, when he told me that he has no idea why strange people like talking to me so much (but that they certainly DO talk to me), I felt relieved. He’s witnessed it in action, and can see no clear reason why it happens, nor any sign from me inviting it to happen.
So, if I’m not egging people to talk to me, what can it be? I am really curious about this. Am I more in touch with people? Do I look friendly? Do I look like a sucker? Am I overly approachable? I don’t think I am any more so than anyone else. Am I cursed? Help! Because the one thing I know is, once the conversations start, it’s hard for me to just turn away, no matter how much I’d like to.
It’s just weird.
