This just in
From our friend Karen, who knows a feel good story when she sees one! God, those legs kill me! Also, the way he looks around to make sure no one is watching him and then scurries out with his booty is great.
A seagull in Scotland has developed the habit of stealing chips from a neighborhood shop.
The seagull waits until the shopkeeper isn’t looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos.
Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds.
The seagull’s shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store in Aberdeen, Scotland, and helped himself to a bag of chips. Since then, he’s become a regular. He always takes the same type of chips.
Customers have begun paying for the seagull’s stolen bags of chips because they think it’s so funny.
Thanks, Karen!
It not even real
I don’t think someone could pay me enough to try and get Boutros into this get-up. This cat is either sedated, stuffed or humiliated into submission.
All I can say to all the pet owners out there is: payback is a bitch.
SmartSnore™
Miranda told me that last night, during one of her apparently regular checks to “make sure I am still alive,” I said this my sleep:
“I’ve got the SmartSnore. It keeps people on their toes.”
I guess I was not making any sort of sound before my proclamation (spurring the urge to ensure I was still alive), but seemed to fall into a perfectly-timed, slight snore post-proclamation, as if almost on cue.
Whatever the SmartSnore may be, we’re sure it’s our key to great “As Seen On TV” fortune and fame. If only we could tap into my subconscious and find out what it is. As my dream invention came with a built-in slogan, we already know what it does. It keeps people on their toes!
Regardless, I think it’s obvious I need to patent this baby before wind gets hold of this brilliant idea.
Vitamphetamine water
I know I’ve talked to someone about this, but does Vitamin Water make your tongue vibrate?
All possible sexual jokes and innuendos aside, it’s a phenomenon that sort of freaks me out.
What exactly is in Vitamin Water that would cause this sensation? I have googled all possible combinations and have come up with nothing. Usually there’s some yahoo in Godknowswhere that has experienced the same thing and it makes me feel like someone out there understands. Now, thanks to Vitamin Water, I feel like I am alone in the world.
ha.
iHave a question
I use a Mac at work.
My keyboard is white, as most Mac keyboards are these days.
A white keyboard was never a great idea in my opinion, as it would have a tendency to show more of the finger transfer filth that I am sure every keyboard suffers from, visible or not.
With this said, looking down at my keys just now, the opening and closing bracket keys ( { [ } } ) are the dingiest. Why would this be?! My mind is completely boggled by this fact.
And this musing has angered me all over again as to why they would make a white and clear plastic keyboard that beautifully captures, preserves and displays every last thing you’ve eaten/touched since the last time you cleaned it.
Damn anal retentive minimalist Mac creators.
Cue Mac ridicule now.
