Ah, Mennonite love
Taken in Grant Park over the weekend.
Younger, lighter and free-er
One word.
Haircut.
Sweet relief.
I’m not impressed
I’d like to start this post by saying I’ve been waiting for the Elvis version of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups for, oh, at least a year now. I read about them online when they were just a twinkle in Lisa Marie’s eye, but now that they’re finally here, I have to say they’re just ok.
I am not sure if I am reacting to the “Big Cup” size, since that in and of itself is pretty overwhelming. Maybe it’s because I am seemingly sort of a purist when it comes to my Cups. I am not a fan of the miniature size either. I like my Cups as god made them—flat, round discs with a pie-like crimped chocolate crust, with a snappy crunch on the outside, creamy and smooth peanut butter crack on the inside. I want more than a single bite, but a bite that’s more than a mouthful is a waste. And Big Cups definitely tread into the excessive arena.
OK, so the real part I was excited about was the banana. I loved peanut butter and banana sandwiches as a kid. And though I believe Elvis’ take on this childhood treat often involved bacon, pork rinds, pickled pig ears or some such salty pork product, he did manage to elevate this humble snack to ambrosia status. With this in mind, the banana was the expected, super-artificial banana flavoring I was hoping it wasn’t, though it was not offensive. It just didn’t add much to the overall flavor of the candy. It was creamy and offered a smooth counterpart to the chalky texture of the Reese’s peanut butter, but really just couldn’t hold its own in flavor.
I don’t know whether or not the free 7-11 Slurpee chasers that we drank with the Cups actually helped our assessment or not. I think maybe the sugar-induced high helped. But here’s what I have to report back to the marketing team back at Reese’s:
-Two out of four people flat out refused to try the Elvis Big Cups
-The two people that tried the Elvis Big Cups found them not repulsive and oddly compelling, but not likely to cross our palettes again
To be fair, my overall attitude toward the Elvis Peanut Butter Cups does possibly have to do with my general disdain for the candy industry and its obsession to reinvent the wheel rather than stick to the tried and true candies of yore. Like how many versions of a Kit Kat bar or M&Ms can one be expected to embrace? Mint? Caramel? Dark Chocolate? Krispie? The varieties are mind boggling and often do not hold a candle to the original.
Anyway, maybe I am being too critical. Maybe I am unfairly judging the Elvis Cup against the original? Go to Walgreens and tell me what you think. But hurry, they’re only available for a limited time.
ILA
I love acronyms. They allow us to say so much in so little time. Obviously, we’ve all grown up with a fair number of acronyms—the FBI, CIA, TGIF and the like—but my true love affair with acronyms began when I was thrown head first into the world of corporate acronymese. EOD, COB, PITA, ROI. The list goes on and on. I know Kittyteef came up with the brilliant term “acrodemia” (or something very close to this) to describe her experience of breaking the code of cap initials that seems to rule academic culture. And omg, don’t even get me started on how the IM craze is only adding fuel to my fire. I feel like I learn a new acronym every day used by those crazy kids these days. LOL. No, make that LOLCI.
In fact, I learned a new acronym just tonight. But not from our ADD-riddled youth. I learned my new favorite acronym from Kathy Griffin’s show, My Life on the D-List. Tonight, she went to perform her comedy act at a prison. And in order to pad her act with jokes the inmates could relate to, she asked a few of the women for some common lingo they use in the joint. I had no idea the joint too relies on so many acronyms! There was ROY, which I can’t even tell you what that stands for. WHY? Because I was so tickled by the next acronym they revealed to Kathy. LURD.
LURD.
What do you suppose LURD stands for?!
Well, I can tell you this: It is a perfect marriage between acronyms and another favorite passtime, female prison lore! Who is not or has not at one time in their lives been obsessed with female prison movies and shows?! One reason I love them is because each one follows the same predictable formula chock full of lesbian overtones and plenty of stereotypical characters. You have the calm, cool, but corrupt lady warden, who is always doing her best to make sure none of the inmates sees the light of day. Then you have the new girl— a wide-eyed, clueless innocent who took the rap for a crime her boyfriend committed. And no female prison movie would be complete without the tough, predatory lesbian character, ala Wendy O. Williams, who threatens to deflower any and all fresh meat and induct them into her orange-clad harem. It’s so bad, and it’s so good. And according to Kathy Griffin’s show this evening, it turns out it may not be so far from the truth.
Why? Because LURD stands for Lesbian Until Release Date. Genius! What was truly funny was what an accepted, desirable way of life LURD-ism was. They laughed when they told her. Kathy even offered to let them have their way with her assistant Tom, and they said they’d prefer her two female assistants. You know, because they’re LURDs!! Which begs the question, is the term LARD then used for those who plan to be Lesbian After Release Date? Or LORDs, Lesbians On Release Date? You know, for those women that originally took a pass on the girl-on-girl action, but then decided they don’t want to regret missing out on the experience, so they give it the old college try in the supply closet moments before freedom?
THESE are the questions that keep me up at night. Hopefully now I can sleep.
BRB
