Jury Doodie
Beware….this entry is very “diary-like”….sorry if it’s too long and boring, I just had to vent for a few minutes.
I served my day of jury duty this week. Some folks might like to get out of work and head downtown to the Daley Center, be away from the phone, the computer, read a mindless magazine perhaps. Not me, jury duty was BRUTAL!….much worse than work.
Here’s how my day went:
I had to get up an hour or two earlier than I normally do, and take the train, which I normally don’t do. I was running late so I skipped breakfast (the kiss of death), skipped coffee, in fact, skipped consuming any beverage, even a sip of water. I got off at the wrong train stop, because I didn’t know that the Washington stop was under construction, had to backtrack north to the Daley Center, did not have time to grab a bottle of water or something to eat, was supposed to be there at 8:30am and walked in to a silent room full of 200 people staring at me at 8:45am, no aisle seats were free so I had to climb over people to get a middle seat that was being occupied by some dude’s bag which I had to ask him to move, which cause him to give me a dirty look. I was asked to turn off my cell phone and there was no wireless reception, so I brought my laptop down there for nothing and then had to lug it around all day. I saw 2 vending machines and opened my wallet to find I only had a 20 dollar bill and no change, so I was unable to buy anything to eat or drink and was parched from having a slight cold coming on, and knew I wouldn’t be able to leave the building until at least noon and that made me very agitated.
At 10am I was called with a group into a courtroom. Judge Thomas Flanagan explained the case. A woman died of cancer and the family was sueing Northwestern Hospital. There were three lawyers and one doctor present, plus the family who was suing. They called 14 people to the juror’s chairs and the lawyers and the judge fired questions at them for the next 2 hours while the rest of us sat in pews in the back.
Did you know that if you have a trip planned…bring your e-ticket and you can get out of jury duty? If you have a trip planned, but no proof of that, you won’t get off that easy. The judge explained that this case would probably last 5 days, maybe shorter, maybe longer, but well into the following week.
All sorts of questions were asked, and the same EXACT questions were asked of every single prospective juror. “Has anyone in your family been diagnosed with cancer? “How far have you gone in your schooling?” They even went so far as to ask us our hobbies, and what TV shows we watch. One lawyer kept asking if people liked “Grey’s Anatomy”. One juror said he spent his free time “workin’ on his Hot Rod”……WHO CARES!!!!! I’M HUNGRY AND PARCHED!
Then, at 11:45am we were excused and told to come back no later than 12:30. I ran out the door in search of something to eat and stumbled on a Potbelly’s. Not my favorite, but you would have thought I had stumbled on the greatest feast before my eyes. I ran in and got a line that had about 25 people in front of me. I wolfed down my sandwich and ran back to the Daley Center.
Next, I was called to one of the jury seats. I knew I had a gig the next day ….one of my higher paying gigs, and I was not about to give it up. I sat there and waited for the judge to ask if anyone else had a good reason why they can’t serve on this jury, but he didn’t ask. When one lawyer inquired about my job teaching at Old Town, he asked if I recognized him and I said “no”…maybe he was a student. Another lawyer started asking me about my hobbies and I finally chimed in that I had a performance in the morning that I could not miss. Then the judge really started questioning me, asking me if I could get anyone else from the school to do it and saying that I would not be performing, the children will be performing. Then I said, “well actually, sir, it’s me who will be performing”, and then he went off about some newscaster from WGN was always praising the school. I stood my ground, saying that there wasn’t anyone who could replace me.
Then they asked us to leave for a 1/2 hour. We came back in the room and I was handed my $17 check and they said I could go home. Whew! My ass hurts from sitting that long! Jury duty is no fun and I don’t like the way they make you feel guilty. People should be able to give legitamate excuses for why they can’t be on a trial. I’m sure there’s plenty of people out there who would love to be on a trial….go get those people and leave me alone!
Theeese are the people in my neighborhood:
I have not witnessed this in person yet, but I’m fairly certain a gorgon lives here. Obviously this poor child was unable to use the reflecting pond in time.
and in the same yard:
thats a cross.
in the yard.
with carrots.
and bunny asses.
to the left are 2 gorgoned children unfortunate enough to have been lured in by the freakshow.
this is warning enough for us. we were very nearly trapped by the inhabitants of this hellish domain last summer with the promise of a yard sale. TT immediately sensed trouble when she approached one of the sellers with a question and was ignored with a stoney celine-dion-and-kenny-g-lovin-one-step-closer-and-I-will-eat-your-flesh stare. We backed down the driveway very slowly, never taking our eyes off the demons in the lawnchairs.
We didn’t need that stupid TV anyway.
The plight of the non-athletic
Last night at the gym I found myself muttering, “Why does this gym have to have so many stairs?”
I think it’s a valid question seeing that the machines are three flights above the locker room. Pitiful, maybe. But valid.
“Is it sarong”?!
Ladies…………….well, and Michael,
It’s time.
I’ve been thinking about it for a while…
and I really want to believe that maybe… just maybe…
you’re on the same track. Listen. I’m 28 years old & I think it’s
high time I free my bits n’ pieces from the life life they know as tethered-denim.
I think I need to explore a summer in a sarong-styled skirt.
wait.
before you say “So long to the sarong”!…read the benefits.
1.) they’re inexpensive (can purchase starter sarong for 7 to 8 doll-hairs).
2.) comfortable
3.) no seams
4.) breathable
5.) looks great with teva’s®
6.) toss a cap-sleeved tee on top & you’re good to go!
7.) and you look all exotic & all well-travelled & shit
8.) cargo styles are available!
http://www.hilohattie.com/showdetl.cfm?catid=18&objectgroup_id=125&prodid=11748#
http://www.1worldsarongs.com/sarongskirt.html
http://users.telenet.be/jbruyndonckx/sarong.html
ps. I think the average sarong-styled skirt is 3′.8″ x 5′.5″….
Minion on the move
My minion seriously rocks. He hath no shame. And really, that’s what it takes to be successful in minionhood. I am really excited! This is may be the closest anyone has ever come to having a real, live conversation with the Walking Dude! Maybe my minion is going to make history! I do believe he’ll one day break the mystique, nevermind the fact that W.D. literally ran away from him. He’s also promised to make Walking Dude an international sensation when he goes back to Japan this summer. I don’t know why, but I could really see Walking Dude becoming quite a phenomenon in Japan. He’s just weird and quirky enough. Anyway, here’s the latest installation in Operation: Walking Dude.
I saw him walking on Michigan Ave on my way back from my bank this morning.
I approached him from behind and said “Excuse me, sir” hoping he would stop and respond.
But he just ignored me and suddenly walked across to the other side of the street.
