strawberry daquiris anyone?
Here’s my plug for Stanley’s Fruit and Veggie Market….I bought all of these strawberries today…yes, count ‘em….8 cartons for……..98 cents….not 98 cents per carton, but 98 cents total for all 8! Granted, half of them were inedible and overripe and I had to weed through them and they took my almost an hour to cut up…but it’s STILL worth it! The amount I salvaged would have cost $20 from whole foods.
Be estrogentle…
It’s bad enough they had to go ahead and ruin my favorite band name of the eighties…YAZ, by marketing the latest contraceptive with the same name…but did they really have to develop and market a CHEWABLE birth control?
For starters, it’s called Femcon.
Fem-con…is that feminine convict?
Fem-con..like a wargames…lady-version of Def-con…”Shall…we…play..a..game? ”
(Robot-speak)…I am Femcon…my loins are a fire…i am fertile…it is time…
Would you chew birth control gum?
…blow birth control bubbles?
…crack your birth control gum?
…stick your birth control gum under a desk?
yeesh.
My Past Life Analysis
Your past life diagnosis:
I don’t know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern France around the year 1475. Your profession was that of a artist, magician or fortune teller.
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Bohemian personality, mysterious, highly gifted, capable to understand ancient books. With a magician’s abilities, you could have been a servant of dark forces.
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your task is to learn, to love and to trust the universe. You are bound to think, study, reflect, and to develop inner wisdom.
So funny. I love that one of my past career paths may have been a fortune teller. Very lucrative. Do you think my past life parents had a fit over that vocational choice? Or I was a magician, and these abilities could have made me a servant of dark forces!! See? I always try to explain to people my hidden dark side. But I guess it’s better explained as my Renaissance dark side. My bad. I sort of agree with the Bohemian personality bit. And who could argue with the highly gifted part?
Any spooky truths in yours?
Past Life Analysis
Whereby I create a monster
Update: Here you can witness the pillaging firsthand. This is how the porch looked when we came home on Friday evening. I’m sure the credit for the knocked over pots goes to Mr. Squirrel, but we can thank the birds for the rest of the mayhem. It looks like there was a bar brawl! And, notice the empty feeder? We had filled that in the morning. Pigs with wings, I tell you! Pigs with wings!
So, last weekend, I bought a nice little gifty for Miranda. We’ve been dorking out over birdlife lately, so I picked up a cute birdfeeder to hang on the back porch. We’d hung those seed-covered bells throughout the fall and winter, and the birds seemed to like them, so I thought it was time to graduate to the real deal. In addition to the feeder, I also bought a mix of bird seed that was guaranteed to attract a wide variety of wild birds. Perfect, right?
We filled and hung the new feeder on Sunday afternoon. And it sat there. And sat there. Everyday I would monitor the birdseed levels to see if anyone had stopped by for a bite. The birdfeeder was seemingly bombing! I was outraged! Here we were, offering a more than decent meal at the affordable price of FREE, and no birdies had had the decency to drop in and try it. Hmmph.
Well, I am here to tell you, the dry spell is over. Word has definitely traveled throughout the neighborhood, because for the past two days, business at the birdfeeder has been booming. Sometimes feeding two, three, four or even five birds at once! Sometimes, birds come swooping in, knocking their buddies out of the way for their spot at the counter. A feeding frenzy has taken over the back porch. I don’t know what’s in that birdseed mixture, but it’s obviously some primo stuff. And not to rub it in, but the birds definitely prefer our feeder to the downstairs neighbors’ inferior feeder. I don’t know why, but the fact that their feeder is akin to a ghost town fills me with pride and joy. It’s a great feeling.
Or it was. We discovered yesterday that winning over the birds also meant winning over another creature for which I haven’t a speck,not even a microbe of love. Yes, it’s obvious I am being punished for my sinful arrogance, because the devil hath made its presence known. In the form of a squirrel. To know me is to know and often laugh at my fear and disgust of the squirrel. There are few more vile creatures in this world, and none more stubborn, unpredictable and just plain squirrelly. They immediately send my nervous system into a tizzy and send me screaming like a chicken. I hate them. I hate him. I hate her. I hate it. Hate it hate it hate it.
Well, it’s just my luck that el diablo is onto our Old Country Bird Buffet, and now drops by to scavenge their leftovers on the porch floor. This causes no end of anxiety for me, and frankly, I’m pissed. The thought of our cats being on the porch in the middle of our newly established Wild Kingdom made me happy. And now I have to worry about them getting into fisticuffs with a rodent? Unacceptable.
Lucky for me, my cousin was over last night, and even more lucky, her cup of flora and fauna knowledge runneth over. She had heard that you can sprinkle cayenne pepper into the seed. The birds can’t taste it, and it drives the squirrels crazy! Genius! So, I looked it up last night on the all powerful and knowing internets, and it’s legit. Not that I didn’t believe Jess, I just needed the extra reassurance that I wouldn’t wake to find a bird/squirrel massacre.
Before we left this morning, I sprinkled a scant amount of cayenne pepper around the area of the rail where Squirrelbrains seems to enter the porch. If that doesn’t work, I may have to resort to lacing the seed with great amounts of pepper. I’ll keep you posted on what happens. Assuming, of course, I don’t enter a state of catatonia as a result of a squirrel-induced trauma first.
Meet and greet your fellow Chicagoans
Thought you’d never have the opportunity to pal around with your furried friends here in Chitown?
Looking for your fellow goths or vampires?
Does your idea of a perfect afternoon involve group dumpster diving?
Or perhaps you’d like to join the 24 members of the Grand Forks Wicca Meetup Group in Gilby, ND?
You’ll find it all on Meetup. I can’t even describe how much entertainment this site is providing me. Just plug in any random combination of numbers as a ZIP code, and peruse the many, many diverse Meetup groups in the area you’ve stumbled upon. Or start your own Meetup group. I think I feel a proper croquet meetup brewing.
