insomniac
Current Mood: 
Alarmed
These are the thoughts that have been in my head since 4am:
1. Why did I wake up at 4am? Why did I wake up at 4am?
2. What if scientists learned to control human senses, as in they could turn your hearing or eyesight off/on at will. Aside from this being a slightly scary thought, if this knowledge were to be applied in an overcrowded prison situation, would it change behavior patterns of repeat offenders? The ruling would be for a shorter sentence, but you would also lose either your hearing or sight for that span of time. Would it throw you off of your game enough to make you think twice about repeating patterns of jail-worthy behavior? It seems like a scary prospect to be thrown in a prison with a missing faculty. OR would you just carry on, knowing that everything would be put back to normal when you were released? Or what if you were to lose the use of one or more of your limbs instead? Same idea. Would the thought be scary enough to prevent one from committing crimes? And would this also ultimately result in a much more handicap-adapted world? What if every person were required to spend six months without the use of a faculty or limb as a part of growing up? I seriously have no idea why I’m thinking about this.
3. I have to get glasses for night driving. What should they look like?
AND this has actually been in my head since Feb 8th:
I have researched this and this shit is for real people. FOR REAL.
It blows my mind!!
These are crystals that were found in La Cueva de los Cristales in Niaca, Mexico when a mine shaft intersected the cavern. All I can say about this is HOLY F**K!!! This picture has been a ginormous (Jawnormous for you MD fans out there) exclamation point in my head since I first saw it. I’m just floored by how huge these things are. Mutha Naycha ain’t playin and DAMN it’s cool!! Its no wonder people were afraid of the sea in the days of Homer. Have you seen the fossils from some of the behemoths that were around back then?
Where is my time machine??
Has it come to this?
Was Lake Effect Snow one of the plagues in the bible? Because it’s looking more and more like we’re going to be whitewashed off the face of the planet. Poor devil worshippin’ Indiana is, as always, going to get even more pounded than us.
“Has It Come to This?” is also the name of my second book of memoirs. Of which I have about seven, all pre-titled. The first being, “Did I Say That Outloud?” I like the cheese and humor of my memoirs having rhetorical questions as titles.
Hand-feet coordination?
Update: Mother Nature cleaned house this weekend and gave us a fresh layer of snow, so alas, no photographic documentation. But I am sure the snow grafittiers will be back.
Looking down from our 23rd floor office window, there is a rare island of grass across Columbus Drive. For some reason, it goes largely unused in summer, but when winter comes around with a substantial dusting of snow, this grassy patch becomes a clean sheet of white paper on which all of the downtown snow grafitti artists can make their mark.
This past snow for instance, someone was compelled to proclaim their undying love for the “ASTROS” (all caps for real emphasis). Then someone opened up a professional sporting team dialogue by adding “RED SOX.” And this morning, “TEAM HAM and EGG,” who are tired of the souless commercialism that defines the mainstream sporting industry, are showing there is indeed an alternative in the indie leagues. And of course we can’t forget the narcissist “Louie,” who in one day went from “rocking” to “rocking his grandma.” I guess all artists have to be open to public interpretation, so hopefully Louie isn’t in his cubicle feeling dirty and wrong right now.
Also, what’s interesting about these feet-etched statements is the difference in feetwriting. Which prompts the question, is feetwriting directly related to one’s handwriting? Can you recognize someone’s handwriting in a message created by their feet? Sadly, I don’t know Louie, otherwise I would do a direct comparison. And it’s way too cold in Chicago to do a field test myself.
Sigh. Such are the mysteries of life that may forever go unsolved.
Googly-eyed freaks!
Although it was a torturous selection process, here are just a few of my favorites from the recent Amy Sedaris Craft Challenge on Flickr, where she brilliantly asked random people to take and submit photos of food sporting googly eyes. Judas Priest, can I love her more? Thanks to Miranda, who knows my penchant for googly eyes, for the head’s up!
Please say you saw American Idol tonight
God, the crapulence.
God, the (Miranda added “enormous” here) camel t*e. I can’t even type it. I can only question. Does this girl not have a mirror? No shame? Does her family hate her? Because all 10 of them were there, and they all let her walk on national television in pants that left nothing, NOTHING to the imagination. *shudder*
Also, please, please go to YouTube and type in the keywords “Simon Cowell” “rubbing” “man breasts” and see what comes up.
Please.
