Cyberdyne 1000…
IT NOT EVEN REAL….. The horse-owning cowgirl from out in the sticks of Woodstick, er…Woodstock…whatever…….well, she didn’t eat any lunch today. Instead, she decided to get her hairs cut. While that’s all good n’ well, she’s freakin’ 28 pounds. The gal needs some meat on her bones.
Don’t know if was nervous energy or what, but when we got home tonight I watched as she…within 15 minutes…
• reheated meatloaf (and gravy)
• let the dogs out, then fed the little one (others get nothing, as they’re large)
• ate soggy old salad
• started and fininshed friday’s crossword
• administered eye medication to the dog
• make peanut butter, banana and honey toast
• burnt her finger…on……….the toaster
• discovered the dog, who received eye drops…stashed a tube of my Chapstick in his crate
• decanted a beer
• fed the horses
• kissed her girls cheek (on account i gotta coldsore)
I don’t know ’bout all y’all…but I think she’s a cybernetic organism that musn’t be terminated. I sho’ as hell don’t work that way.
Need a house cleaner…repairs? Just starve her…
Green therapy
After a few weeks of long hours at the office and oppressive Chicago gray-ness, yesterday afternoon I spontaneously decided to head out to the Garfield Park Conservatory. So worth it. Is there anything more therapeutic than being literally surrounded by floor-to-ceiling green in every hue imaginable? And I am unable to describe the calm and happiness that hits the second you enter the balmy Palm House and are enveloped by what can only be described as the smell of things growing. Seriously, the dense mixture of plants, dirt and moss has a life of its own and is intoxicating. One giant living, breathing organism. I love it. AND, much to my surprise and joy, Kate decided to truck on out in her ultra cool Scion and meet me! Here are some highlights!
It’s that time of year again
Yep. We’re in that seasonal limbo when it reaches a balmy 40 something degrees and everyone decides to shun their winter gear and expose skin before its time. Back in college, the frat boys put on their U of Iowa Hawkeye shorts as soon as the temperature made it over 30°. Today, I saw a guy in the elevator wearing Crocs with no socks. Not sure if he had just flown in from the Bahamas or if he just needs to be reminded that THERE IS STILL SNOW ON THE GROUND, JOKER. Either way, it peeved me. And thus my rant.
Aw, man!
I almost made it through the rest of my life without remembering how much I hated Schneider’s mustache. I guess it just goes to show, you can only take things One Day at a Time. *cough*
Crying now.
The next American Train Wreck?
OK, so I know I ask this every week, but seriously, did you see American Idol last night? You can’t pay for better entertainment, and these laughs are for FREE. And if you choose to factor in the cost of your television, cable, electricity and precious life moments being wasted on mindless schlock, fine. I stand corrected. It’s relatively free. But, my friends, is there any better place to find natural physical comedy genius than a singing competition? You may think so, but thanks to the beauty of TiVo®, I am able to submit to you photographic proof that the cray cray is alive and well on AI this season.
I mean, is this The Next Jim Carrey Imitator competition? Because if so, she’s already won. The truly frightening and wonderful thing about it all is, she’s a finalist. Of course we see every shade of crazy in the auditions, and now it somehow slipped into the top 24. I don’t even remember if she can sing or not. I just keep thinking about this:
And man, it’s great.
