10 things I HATE about Lincoln Park

I work in the Lincoln Park neighborhood several days a week, so I don’t choose to be there on purpose or anything.

10. SUV’S: big honkin’ Land Rovers and such, everywhere, I tell you, everywhere, wedging me into my parking spot, blocking my view. And they are ALWAYS on the their cell phone.
9. The 6-way intersection at Damen, Elston and Fullerton Avenues: blocking my way to Bucktown, adding an extra 15 minutes to my commute, making my blood boil

8. No place to get a quick, cheap lunch

7. Women with those WHINEY voices all dressed up, pushing babies named Zachary and Madison in $300 strollers

6. Seriously….those whiney voices, where do these women learn to talk like that?

5. Sai Cafe: don’t eat at this pretentious sushi place. They’ve jacked up their prices and the food is just not worth it.

4. North Avenue: construction on the bridge….another route to Bucktown foiled. Get used to it, ain’t no end it sight as to when it’ll be done

3. the bars…yawn

2. the National City Bank on Armitage that won’t sell you quarters if you don’t have an account there. We all gotta feed our meter on the street Loozzzah’s!
1. Lame people who rush through stop signs and don’t let you cross Armitage

**update on number 5: this place gave me the runs!

October 30, 2006. Uncategorized. 13 Comments.

13 Comments

  1. kpedone replied:

    No kidding!
    I’ll take my “Pee-bums” up in Edgewater ANY DAY over trixies pushing double-wide strollers with their maple macchiatos in one hand and mobile phone in the other.

    October 31st, 2006 at 9:25 am. Permalink.

  2. Michael replied:

    Stepford Park.
    Starbucks has replaced all of the dwellers in the hood with body double robots.

    October 31st, 2006 at 10:51 am. Permalink.

  3. Collene replied:

    I really hate that Lakeview, or more specifically The Village, aka Boystown on Broadway, is slowly turning into Lincoln Park North. Desperate times call for desperate measures. More sex in alleys! More sex shops! More men’s “spas!” And if all of the local stores could be run by the “friendly” women bartenders/doorwoman at The Closet, that would be great.

    October 31st, 2006 at 8:58 pm. Permalink.

  4. kpedone replied:

    Yay Collene! Perhaps we can elect the likes of Paté as the local alderman.

    November 1st, 2006 at 10:48 am. Permalink.

  5. Michael replied:

    Before you know it Steamworks will close and reopen as Esteemworks-A day spa/counseling center for couples who are mentallycommunicativebeingasonesoulintwobodies challenged

    November 1st, 2006 at 12:08 pm. Permalink.

  6. Miranda replied:

    hah! Will the Friday night Shower Contest at Spin become a favorite place for Trixie bridal “Showers” instead? Will Sidetrack add a Heather Has Two Daddies event and show sing-a-long kiddie videos? Oh the humanity, people! Say it’s not so!

    November 1st, 2006 at 12:32 pm. Permalink.

  7. Michael replied:

    GayMart will become-SunflowerTeardropCalicoPastelGinghamHappy Mart

    November 1st, 2006 at 12:52 pm. Permalink.

  8. kpedone replied:

    Chad n’ Trixie Pride Parade

    November 1st, 2006 at 1:38 pm. Permalink.

  9. Collene replied:

    Maybe Cocktail will become Ponytail!

    November 1st, 2006 at 1:48 pm. Permalink.

  10. kpedone replied:

    I dread the day A’ville goes completely yuppie…instead of T’s bar…it’ll be SUV’s bar…

    November 1st, 2006 at 2:11 pm. Permalink.

  11. Michael replied:

    Man’s Country-Armani’s Country

    November 1st, 2006 at 2:20 pm. Permalink.

  12. Collene replied:

    I know. Madrigal’s was already pegged as Tragical’s and closed.

    November 1st, 2006 at 2:49 pm. Permalink.

  13. Rozanne replied:

    Ugh!!!! Great rant!!! And I thought Lincoln Park was bad when I lived in Chicago. Sounds like it’s gotten infinitely worse.

    November 1st, 2006 at 10:07 pm. Permalink.

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