Coffee of the future
So, this morning at work, two guys in Dockers and button-downs (read: sales types) came in and installed a high-tech coffee robot.
Perks are few and far between here, so this robot caused quite a brouhaha.
With the coffee robot came a card catalogue-like storage unit with about 16 pull-out drawers containing different types of coffees, teas and creamers. This caused an even greater uproar. We were told we were about to enter a new age of coffee drinking, and from this brave new world, we would never want to return.
Wide-eyed we stood and watched while SalesDork1000™ taught us how to make the coffee of our dreams. Any combination of flavors and strength was possible, and only limited by our imaginations. Don’t have the recipe? Don’t worry. The coffee robot has every combination stored in its database and will reveal it to you in good time.
He then showed us that the drawers actually contained airtight pouches of the “freshest coffee imaginable.” This pouch is to remain sealed until safely placed in the robot as to not contaminate it with human weakness and depravity. With just a touch, the robot lowers its pouch receptor dock and now the fun part begins.
Your attention is drawn to the multitude of delicious beverage choices flashing on the LCD screen. There are coffees. There are many, many lattes. There is the option to make things “Choco.” Choco is a main function of the coffee robot. I am almost certain the coffee robot was sent to conquer the earth one Choco at a time. Beginning with SalesDork1000 and its companion model, SalesDork2000, who both must have mentioned their love of Choco 20 times in 10 minutes. Clearly they have been brainwashed by Choco. I will now be avoiding Choco.
So is the coffee robot the wave of the future in office coffee? The jury is still out on that one. Today I tried a latte and was not so impressed. Yes, I am a coffee snob, but man, I grew up on Maxwell House just like everyone else. And although my interest was piqued by the robot’s ability to actually create light and fluffy foam from powdered milk (”real” dairy, a rarity), the latte was sort of watered down.
Tomorrow I think I’ll try to make friends with the coffee robot, tell him not to rush and put it on the double brew cycle. Maybe I’ll even get crazy and try one of the “well-being” teas. Then I’ll probably make a run for the Intelligentsia.
This just in!
Why can’t we have Michael’s version of the coffee robot? Then it could even deliver the coffee to our desks and take away the dirties when we’re done. I thought this was supposed to be the future, dammit.
A moment of self-reflection
What does it say about me that although our cabinet is chock full of fun, eclectic mugs we’ve collected over the years, 9 times out of 10 I will choose the plain white cafe-styled mug (though not too hearty like a Kopi Cafe mug, but also not too prissy) from Crate and Barrel?
Choice 1 Choice 2
This choice might lead one to immediately assume I am boring. But I think what appeals to me about Choice 2 is a no-nonsense practicality and universal appeal. Meaning, the white not only matches any pajama, but the starkness of the white
really allows the color of your beverage to pop. And also, its slightly-smaller-than-the-standard-mug size means you actually have half a chance of finishing said beverage before it gets too cold to consume.
So, it really all adds up to what I’ve secretly known all along. I’m a genius.
debil in a white wrapper
gross and wrong.
gross and EVIL!!
I can’t even bring myself to try one in the name of research. Why, Hershey?
Cultchah shaahk
Bet you thought we fell off the face of the earth, didn’t you? But we’re back! Back from the overwhelmingly beautiful New England coast. In my mind I was kicking and screaming all the way through the airport to our Air Turbulence flight, but being greeted by a smiling Betsy at Midway (thanks Bets!) and needy, feral-acting, yet impeccably cared for kitties at our door (thanks Kitty Team Chicago!), coming home felt good. I can only be a nomad for so long.
But wow, the nomadic life ain’t half bad when you’re on Cape Cod or the Maine coast. I dreamt of the ocean all night long, and had some major chest pangs when I woke up at one point and realized there would be no beachcombing today, and no saltwater in the air. On the plus side, there would be no rotting fish smell or stench of old seaweed pickling in the sun. But those were few and far between, and someone get me a support group, because I am missing it all something fierce today. I heard this saying a few times from people on the Cape and I believe it is true: once you get Cape Cod sand in your shoes, you have no choice but to return.
So to our traveling buddies on the first leg of our tour in Provincetown, to Karen and Mike who so graciously hosted us in South Chatham for their wedding at the end, and last but not least, to Miranda who taught me to love Days Inns… thanks everyone! It was really one of the best trips ever! Do I hear Second Annual?? Except, I suppose Karen and Mike will spend less time wedding and more time bumming around with us and enjoying the array of amazing seafood options.
Anyway, just because I’m missing it all so much at the moment, here are a couple photos that capture the essence of our trip.
A secluded pond where wild Barbies native to Provincetown gather to drink and find their mates.
LD and I biked through some of the dunes outside of Ptown. You can’t really tell how steep they are in this photo. But man, talk about a climb.
The pond behind the summer house Karen and Mike rented in South Chatham. So beautiful, and not too shabby of a way to start your morning I must say.
Nauset Beach. Annoying black blobs in the photo courtesy of ocean splash on my camera lens. The little object floating on the horizon is not Jaws, but a surfer! Though we did see a sea lion swimming offshore at one point!
Royal Pain
Whist surfing the net this morning, nursing an epic hangover (I blame LD),
I ran across this story…
http://cbs2chicago.com/topstories/topstories_story_256112149.html
Please toddle on down to paragraph four.
Now granted, this news nugget is being reported out of the Bahamas,
but check out the coroner’s title…”Her Majesty’s Coroner Linda P. Virgill”
Now I don’t know about all y’all…but I…as of today, September 13th the year 2006…
would like to addressed as Her Majesty’s Desktop Maven, Purveyor of all that is Quarkable, Karen Jean
That is all.
