Is it like Turbo Tax?
Who knew Dunkies was selling such things these days?
First the fancy iced lattes and cappuccinos, and now the Turbo Ho.
I haven’t seen anyone order the Turbo Ho yet, but I am assuming that for around $2.00, you can have a whole different kind of morning pick me up.
Current status:
Yes, excitement abounds here at the Desk of Collene.
Please fulfill your moral and civic duty and save me.
I have resorted to repeatedly putting eye drops in my eyes just to shock myself back to life again.
Feeling salty
So yeah, I’m still reading the Salt: A World History book.
Although some may consider me a glutton for punishment for endeavoring to read 449 pages written solely about salt, my slower than molasses pace is not due to boredom. I assure you, I remain riveted. I guess it’s mostly because this book is so densely filled with historical, scientific, geological, political, economic and religious trivia, that I pretty much have to read every paragraph twice to retain anything. Why do I endure? What’s in it for me? I am not sure there’s even a party anecdote to be had between these covers. Is it because I have a penchant for books with a colon in the title? Or, maybe it’s because I am a crazy OCD purist that can’t start a book and not finish it, or perhaps I just really love the idea that something so innocuous and common as salt had such a huge impact on humankind, I must persevere. Ever had one of these?
But seriously, I am learning fascinating things. Number one being that for all these years, I have truly taken my relatively easy access to salt for granted. Do I have to barter with the Vikings to enhance the flavor of my food? I may have to fight off plenty of freaks in the aisles at Jewel, but for the most part, I can score salt without much ado.
So, because I know you are dying to discover some of the indispensable facts I am learning about salt, but aren’t crazy enough to take up your prime summer reading months trudging through this neverending book, I have decided we should play a salt trivia game! YAY!
Here’s how it works: below I will list 7 salt-related facts. One or more will be completely false! See if you can tell which ones are total crap! Ok, ready?
1. Throughout the ages, salt has been associated with sex or sexual desire, and is the origin of the word salacious.
2. An adult human contains about 250 grams of salt, which would fill 3 to 4 salt shakers.
3. In Haiti, the only way to break the spell and bring a zombie back to life is with salt.
4. If you were to collect your tears produced while reading this post and leave them in a small dish to evaporate, salt crystals would be left in the dish.
5. In Welsh tradition, a plate was put on a person’s coffin with bread and salt, and a local professional sin eater arrived to eat the salt. (Smart career choice! Who doesn’t need a professional sin eater?)
6. Saltwater taffy actually contains no salt.
7. My mom is such a saltaholic, she even salts her pizza.
Please don’t let me get my hands on the Cod: book. 
Tan lines
While very funny, this little PSA serves as an important reminder for me to wear sunscreen while enjoying my usual summer activities.
I mean, with the beach sumo wrestling season just about to begin, I dare not even think about the ridiculous tan lines I could have ended up with.
And although my legs haven’t seen the sun for the past 733 years and there’s no trace of natural light at Neo, the undead can’t be too careful. There’s nothing worse than a tan resembling swiss cheese and a frozen waffle all at once.
*Sigh* I guess this means my dancing gig with the Joffrey is also on temporary hiatus.
Man, I guess there’s only one way for me to avoid unsightly tan lines. Thank god for my furry suit.
