My trademark moves
Forget the Ab Roller. Shove your Ab Lounge, Ab King Pro or other As Seen On TV late night impulse buy in your storage space immediately. Like you used it anyway. I’m here to introduce a better way to transform your flabby abs into ab-solute dreams.
It’s called Hackalung®. And it’s a revolutionary new exercise that helps you naturally tighten and tone your abs without expensive, cumbersome equipment. And you need nothing but a good old fashioned viral infection to get started. Sound too good to be true?
Hackalung’s patented CoughingFit™ action works when and where you need it to—at home, on the go, or even in bed. And the worse you feel, the better it works. Need more resistance? Simply stay out with your friends til 2 a.m. drinking and smoking to achieve that extra-charged workout you’re after. It’s that easy.
Hackalung is an exclusive ab toning method you won’t find in stores. But it can be yours for the low price of a McDonald’s coke, shared with me today. Simply call 1-800-COF-A-LOT to set up your personal Hackalung session now.
Feel the burn with Hackalung.
5 Comments
- LD replied:
“Hackalung my friend
don’t start away uneasy
you poor old sod
you see it’s only me.”May 31st, 2006 at 8:11 pm. Permalink.
- karen replied:
i think you should sell popsicle sticks ladened with the virus in handy pocket protectors for easy access…*cough*!
you can call them bark stix!
June 1st, 2006 at 7:10 am. Permalink.
- Michael replied:
Why have a product to lug around when you can simply design little notes with arrows that say “Lick Here”. Then stick the notes on cta chairs, poles and floors.
June 5th, 2006 at 9:44 am. Permalink.
- collene replied:
brilliant marketing move!
i can see the companion products now… hackalung viral spray… hackalung infectious wipes…
June 5th, 2006 at 5:17 pm. Permalink.
- karen replied:
OOhhh…3M can get in on it. Post It’s™ can have viral adhesive backings. Simply pull a sheet off to reveal a fresh batch of bacteria! Like a breath strip!
June 6th, 2006 at 7:38 am. Permalink.
