Back in the saddle again

Due to my protesting respiratory system, which I can only assume was reacting to my many ennui-inspired sighs last work week, I was forced to leave work on Monday. I know, I know. Tragic indeed. Bedridden, I did what any red blooded, consumptive American would do, and proceeded to watch approximately 10 consecutive hours of Law & Order SVU.

After a long night of negotiations, I decided to stay home on Tuesday just to make sure my renewed contract with my lungs was going to stick. It was a perfect sick day. My girlfriend, who will remain nameless, and who may or may not have been ill, also decided to stay home. There was oatmeal. There was tea. There was video game playing (on the couch and under the blanket sickie-style, of course). There was even a cat nap. With an actual cat. These types of cat naps are the best (unless of course you have cat allergies). As I was drifting off to sleep with my living teddy bear Boutros on my chest, I was thinking how a cat nap is nice, but a cat nap with a cat is better, and wondering what other phrases in the English language are better literally than they are figuratively.

Somewhere in my sickie haze, I thought, monkey business. Business sure would be so much more fun with real, live monkeys. This thought is not new, nor is it not new to me, as anyone who knows and loves me knows I am obsessed with an office intern monkey. Just imagine this little ambitious overachiever fetching you coffee in the morning, spilling it everywhere as he runs down the hall with his excited uneven gait! Or think of the copies. For the love of god, think of the monkey intern making copies. In this fantasy do not include a step stool. Instead, think of the gangly, outstretched monkey arm reaching up to push the “copy” button. Then let the hysterics ensue.

Then somewhere in my dreaming state, my spine made a call for help and required me to shift this extra 17 pounds of added weight on my belly. I think Boutros Boutros-Kitty and I need to work on our mental telepathy skillz, because he took my slight shift as an eviction. And that’s where the cat nap abruptly, and so wrongly ended.

March 29, 2006. Uncategorized. 17 Comments.

17 Comments

  1. Collene replied:

    Addendum: There was also turkey chili on Monday night because my awesome, thoughtful girlfriend decided to fulfill my palate’s yearnings! And let me vouch for said chili. It was delish.

    March 30th, 2006 at 8:45 am. Permalink.

  2. Miranda replied:

    Poor sickie. At least Boutros can be used as a pillow.

    March 30th, 2006 at 8:53 am. Permalink.

  3. karen replied:

    Fear not…flu season will soon give way to flip-flop season…or do you prefer…..the MANDAL!!!!!!!???….Moo…ooh…ooh..ahhhh!

    March 30th, 2006 at 9:40 am. Permalink.

  4. collene replied:

    I am pro sandal, mandal and flip-flop. I am a very versatile girl.

    March 30th, 2006 at 11:09 am. Permalink.

  5. karen replied:

    you can put your flip-flops in your TOTE bag.

    March 30th, 2006 at 11:19 am. Permalink.

  6. Anne replied:

    Since we are on a mandal/sandal tangent, I need to let it be known that, personally, I am anti-feet. If I ever run for President I will run on a “no open-toed shoes in public” platform. To be complimented by a “no flip flops” and “no visible thong” amendment. I am, however, a fan of the ubiquitous “muffin-top” fashion disaster, as it’s just so awful as to be truly endearing.

    Ok, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

    March 30th, 2006 at 11:49 am. Permalink.

  7. karen replied:

    Anne…who ARE you?! It’s like I don’t even know you! Embrace the exposed toes…let them flex and splay their flaired-goodness for all to see! What I would give to rest my bare feet in your lap right now!

    March 30th, 2006 at 1:15 pm. Permalink.

  8. Collene replied:

    Agreed. You’ve GOT to let your feet commune with nature once in awhile. Along with the filth of our urban landscape just to maintain their street cred. Don’t underestimate the power of a good pair of flip-flops. I helped convert Mandy last summer, and given the time, I can help you see the light as well.

    March 30th, 2006 at 1:54 pm. Permalink.

  9. Anne replied:

    I feel like William Shatner on one of his many newly discovered galaxies, as he tries to resist the urge to procreate with an alien being.
    “Must…not …expose… toes… to grime..of…city… living… feet bad….socks good…”

    March 30th, 2006 at 2:13 pm. Permalink.

  10. Michael replied:

    Dog Tired?
    Tom Foolery?
    Eating Crow?

    March 30th, 2006 at 4:01 pm. Permalink.

  11. Collene replied:

    Yes! Silly me! Foolery is nothing without Tom! And eating is truly joyless without some good ole crow.

    Also, Spock was the product of a Vulcan/human hook-up, and look how awesome he was with that Vulcan pinch thing! What I wouldn’t give to be able to Vulcan pinch jerks who cut in line at the Jewel and say, “I didn’t think so” as they fall to the ground.

    Kirk should have gone with his implulses, but just used extra precaution with the trashier aliens he couldn’t bring home to mom. Similarly, I think we could hook you up with some grade-A sandal lovin’ your mother would approve of.

    March 30th, 2006 at 4:20 pm. Permalink.

  12. Anne replied:

    Oh Colleen, that thought just gave me hives. I could be talked maybe into a stylish pair of Birkenstocks, particularly if they are more the clog-variety of sandal, rather than a true sandal. Baby steps, Spock, baby steps.

    March 31st, 2006 at 10:23 am. Permalink.

  13. karen replied:

    Oh…Anne…by the way, I’m at work…at my desk…sans shoes. AND I wore sandals to work today! Teva’s!!!

    March 31st, 2006 at 2:39 pm. Permalink.

  14. karen replied:

    Once you go “MANDAL” you never go back!

    March 31st, 2006 at 2:41 pm. Permalink.

  15. Michael replied:

    It’s true Karen is without shoes at work. You should see her eat chinese food and work the chopsticks with her feet. Did not spill one drop.

    March 31st, 2006 at 4:30 pm. Permalink.

  16. Anne replied:

    I could handle the lack of shoes at work, it’s the chinese food image that gives me hives. The only thing worse is a mid-July el train ride where most of the riders have their toes exposed and you are stuck on the el with lots of chipped toe-nail polish, heel callouses, and grimy footbeds of flip-flops on display.

    I just threw up a little in my mouth.

    Oh winter, I love you so.

    March 31st, 2006 at 4:37 pm. Permalink.

  17. Miranda replied:

    It’s a good thing KP stopped smoking (ahem). I was getting a little tired of watching her light up with her toes. Fire, toes, mouth - at least a foot of distance should be maintained between such items at all times.

    March 31st, 2006 at 4:54 pm. Permalink.

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