L Word Season Finale Spoilers
Now I generally DETEST spoilers, but let’s face it, this has been a rough L Word season, and hence, a blow to the small bubble of hope that all lesbians carry in their hearts–the bubble that allows us to believe that our relationships CAN INDEED last longer than three years. And so, I felt that in such a case, it was worth tapping my SuperPowerfulSecretSource for super-classified information.
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SuperPowerfulSecretSource
Now I know you’re all thinking “Carla, how on earth could this finale end well while we are still all mourning the super-sweet, universally relatable Dana?” Well, dear fans, Dana is sticking around, at least for a bit, as the ever-whacky Alice gets herself into a bit of a pickle. Apparently, Alice’s vampy love interest doesn’t take it well when Alice neglects to call her, and Dana, must warn Alice of the danger she is in. Unfortunately, as a ghost, she can not be seen or heard by the living, and so she tries to communicate with Alice through Oda Mae Brown, a psychic who didn’t even realise that her powers were real. This unexpected plot twist let’s us spend more time with Dana, while reuniting her with Alice. We also get to see Alice make out with Whoopi (while Dana inhabits her body), which is, er, kind of cool/gross/subversive?
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Dana returns!
Perhaps even more unexpected is this next twist. Tina, after only meeting with her and Bette’s lawyers once, decides to grant Bette full custody of Baby Angelica, who, in my opinion, wasn’t a terribly interesting character anyway. Apparently Tina realizes that the trauma of dealing with Bette for 5 minutes each Saturday morning and Sunday evening is simply too much for any human to bear. Tina breaks off her current relationship, and within 15 minutes is happily moving in with another insta-family. But will Bette be able to leave Tina alone and accept her new life?
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Tina finds yet another, newer family!
Shane and Carmen get married and have great sex. Yadda yadda.
Kit dumps the creepy manny. Shortly thereafter, the manny is hit by a hummer.
Now, as if this isn’t enough to bring us out of a dismal L-year and into a new lesbian consiousness and optimism, even Jenny ends this season happy. Apparently, Jenny had been mixing Max’s male hormones with manatee hormones, and then injecting herself as well, thereby creating the perfect mate and finally finding the peace she has always dreamed of. Unable to write with her flabby-arm-fin-things, Jenny has thus relieved the world of her “gift,” and Max is unable to take the job at the sexist software company (yes, the company that will pay you six figures without checking any of your references or job history, simply because you have a penis), thus saving him from completely turning over to the dark side. Jenny and “Maxatee” move to Florida and live happily ever after, and we need never hear from either of them again.
Finally working together as a manateam!
3 Comments
- Miranda replied:
Your photoshop skillz are impressive, oh Prescient One.
March 26th, 2006 at 3:18 pm. Permalink.
- collene replied:
well, at least you didn’t predict shane would ditch carmen at the alter. that would really blow. brilliant! i think the ghost plot line could really work for them. maybe they can fashion a pet sematary/mr. piddles story line in, too.
March 26th, 2006 at 11:32 pm. Permalink.
- tamara replied:
wow, carla, with your version of the L Word, i feel like i’ve really been missing out!! (kinda) they sure are progressive on that show…hail to the manatees.
March 27th, 2006 at 2:07 pm. Permalink.
