Seeyasucka
Why is the universe against me having a lovely new pair of seersucker pants for spring?
Sure, there are many pairs seemingly readily available. Believe me, my annual springtime seersucker hunt has evolved my eyes into hairline stripe detecting machines. I can sense their perfectly puckered fabric within 100 yards. 
I am. A monster.
The problem is, all the pairs I keep finding either show butt cleavage, are capris (let the record show that there is nothing wrong with capris, and that while others look good in them, the combination of the capris and my legs resembles an extended tire gauge), are maternity pants, have an elastic waistband or flare out so much that they completely cover your shoes for an unflattering look reminiscent of an elephant leg.
From Dior’s new Babar line.
Or they look like this.
Shoes not included? Forget it.
Anyway, this wouldn’t be such a frustration if it didn’t happen every year. I mean, is it really too much to ask for a smart, sensible pair of pants crafted from a classic, breathable fabric that helps one endure the summer heat, and keeps one comfortable whilst playing croquet or drinking sweet tea on the porch? Why should us northerners be punished on the basis of geography? It’s borderline ungodly.
If you have any leads as to where I can get such a pair of pants, please contact us here at the Seersucker hotline, day or night.
Georgia and my lacking wardrobe thank you.
5 Comments
- karen replied:
Lest we not forget the line from “Sophie’s Choice” regarding seersucker suits…
March 19th, 2006 at 7:11 am. Permalink.
- Anne replied:
Honey. Sweetie. Friends don’t let friends wear seersucker.
March 20th, 2006 at 12:39 am. Permalink.
- collene replied:
but they are an accoutrement of my southern fantasy! picture a mint julep and ordinary everyday chinos. sigh, it just takes the romance out of it.
March 20th, 2006 at 2:24 pm. Permalink.
- collene replied:
I know your number one priority in life is my happiness, so naturally you’ve been scouring online shops for a seersucker worthy of my attention. So thanks! BUT! I am here to tell you that Operation: Seersucker may be over. Kittyteef has just wired me a link to a seemingly fine, handsome pair of seersucker pants. And much to Anne’s point, this retailer had the insight to not call a duck a duck, and instead advertise them as “stripe pincord pants,” which sounds much more hip and urban. I am happy to report that unlike so many of the inferior specimens out there, they actually have two, count ‘em two, back pockets. This is a bold, much appreciated move as so many designers have determined that women can only be trusted with one back pocket at a time.
March 20th, 2006 at 2:38 pm. Permalink.
- Michael replied:
One word. Matlock.
March 24th, 2006 at 11:54 am. Permalink.
