pants of another color.

is it weird that i name my clothes?

so far it’s just my pants, but i’m really starting to feel the need to name more of my wardrobe.

this is what i have so far:

+The Brown Pants of Freedom - aptly titled for the pure laugh-out-loud-dance-the-riverdance joy that i get from the full range of motion they offer. the BPOF are wide-legged (boot cut, not hey-man-can-you-spare-some-change wide) and the perfect length. i can wear any kind of shoe in my arsenal with them. oo! oo! the pockets are my favorite part! because they are men’s pants, not only am i able to fit the full length of my fingers in there, but MY ENTIRE HAND (and sometimes some forearm) can go comfortably in the pocket. THE JOY DOESN’T END THERE!! there is also another teeny tiny adorable teef gritting baby pocket inside my pocket. my pocket has a pocket. now thats considerate. seriously. (they will be 2 yrs old this month. happy birfday BPOF!!!)

next!

+ The Weirdo Pants - so dubbed by TT due to their interesting texture/not-so-savory hue combo. they fall somewhere vaguely between rust and tan. more like old-tootsie-roll-meets-bologna (i hate the spelling of that word - from now on i will say boloney. that is all). they are a pseudo thin wale cord-esque raised tootsie roll stripe with a boloney stripe in the valleys. the result is a very non-committal, and somewhat disturbing color. now despite the allure of a new texture, this isn’t a pant tint that would normally attract me. as a matter of fact, it would actively deter me. the $5 price tag made it an easy decision. these pants are new to the family, so haven’t had much opportunity for utilitarian assessment. today is their social debut, as a matter of fact. i have so far not caught any sidelong glances or heard the sound of retching as i passed. to me thats a thumbs up. i think they’ve made the (bi)weekly rotation. i will keep the world posted on the progress of TWP.

that’s the sum total of my monikered attire.

stand by for future apparel additions.

clothed in love, kittyteef

March 15, 2006. general stupidity, pants. 8 Comments.

8 Comments

  1. Miranda replied:

    Hmm. There is something unsettling about the use of the word “bologna” in such close proximity to the word “pants.” Please see that it does not happen again. eek.

    March 15th, 2006 at 9:03 pm. Permalink.

  2. LD replied:

    Oooo, it’s fun to name pants. I’ll do that instead of washing them.
    1. Snaggy Slacks - Used to be my dress pants till that got a snag. I guess they still are my dress pants since anything more than jeans is dressed up for me. They’re grey and pinstriped and have a slightly polyester feel to them. I’m staring at them in the closet right now wondering if pinstripes are out. Remember pinstriped jeans from the 80s? Tri-colored pinstripes were the best.

    2. Feel Like a Natural Woman Jeans - My 7’s. I heart them. Dress them up or down. A boot, a chunky heel, a pump….it’s all good.

    3. Pants For Hire - I did a gig at the Gap and was paid in jeans!

    4. Poochie Pants - also from the Gap, they have that stretch in them but they pooch out too much in the front

    5. Period Pants - drawstring, stretchy, gray, not suitable to wear outside the home.

    6. I See Your Zipper! pants - black pants, looked good in the store, tried them on at home and zipper was exposed! They stay in the closet.

    7. Purple Pantalones - my favorite cords!

    8. Faux Levis - I got them at Kohls. They have a Levi logo but I think it’s Kohl’s pretending.

    9. Teeny-bopper Trousers - also purchased at Kohl’s. They are a size too large to state here, but I bought them in the TEEN section!! Lei brand….hmmmm, trying to copy Lee? More of a summer jean. And I have to hoist them up a lot.

    March 15th, 2006 at 10:44 pm. Permalink.

  3. kittyteef replied:

    LD - you are my pantalonicus idol. you have inspired me to new title-ing heights!

    and

    M - i myself sincerely hope to never use the words that i have used here in conjunction with another pair of clothing.
    … unless they are <$5

    : |

    March 16th, 2006 at 10:33 am. Permalink.

  4. tamara replied:

    for the record, i like the weirdo pants. they’re sort of hipster meets homeless.

    and LD, wow….who knew!?!

    March 16th, 2006 at 10:36 am. Permalink.

  5. karen jean... replied:

    …must…see…baloney-tootsie roll pants….now….!

    March 16th, 2006 at 11:39 am. Permalink.

  6. karen jean... replied:

    and by the way…no one mentioned the universal…”soft pants”…..

    March 16th, 2006 at 11:41 am. Permalink.

  7. Michael replied:

    I am a personal fan of the gaucho pant I will try to introduce them this year as a trendy fad for men. I prefer the colors seafoam and cotton candy. Paired with the right bolero jacket I believe I will have come up with a smart ensemble.

    March 16th, 2006 at 4:38 pm. Permalink.

  8. Carla replied:

    …and we shall call thee Mr. Easter. However, the name may hold more permanence if you could resurrect yourself.

    Which reminds me…it’s JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR WEEKEND!!!!! actually, we’re a wee bit overdue.

    I think we should start a trend where all of us wear flesh-colored spandex pants. We can name them something that makes us giggle. And then we should hang upsidedown on the monkey bars and be the creepiest people ever.

    March 16th, 2006 at 5:41 pm. Permalink.

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